Saying Goodbye

So just about one month ago, I moved from Koper back to my hometown. When I closed the last zipper on my suitcase I didn’t actually realized what was going on, I thought okay, so my exams are over and I’m going home for just a little while and then, come back for the second semester, but that wasn’t the case. I finished my second year on Master’s degree and there’s no coming back to student life. Deeply inside I knew that my student life is ending, but I didn’t even had the chance to say goodbye, since I almost lost my mind from all the exams and project work we had to do. Just about two weeks ago I had to go to Koper again and as I walked through the streets, it suddenly didn’t feel like home anymore. It’s funny isn’t it? I have spent 5 years in this city feeling like this is my home, and now I feel like a total stranger wandering around the streets.

One week passed by and I finally got my results from the last exam and then, the panic attacks really begun. I’m that kind of person who hates being lost, I was always the type of person who loves to organize things and who has control over my life, but for the past month I didn’t feel like that person, and that really did frustrate me.

In February my asthma got worst, I swear, I go for a walk and my attacks begin, it’s super annoying, I didn’t want to go for a walk because of it, let alone work out. And then, there is this gloomy weather! Oh my, I feel like I’m being a part of Game of thrones series (Sansa’s sister to be precise, only less ”bitchier” ? #gingerpower), where winter is there all the time, but they are still talking about how it’s coming. I swear, when sun shines everything is much more beautiful and positive and because of that I can’t wait for the Spring to once again enchants us!? My mom literally dragged me out of the house, to go for a walk with her every day. I just had to get things out of my system, so we walked and talked.

I started working out, damn I actually heard death calling me in between those high intensity workouts, but it’s worth every whisper, trust me. Your lungs are suddenly full of air, and you can finally just breath and see things clearer! ?

There is another thing that saved me from drowning and that’s photography. You can’t even imagine how happy and excited I am when I’m taking photos of somebody, it’s like ordering 10 pizzas and they are aaaaaaall yours! You can relate to that kind of happiness right? ?? So when I got to take photos of somebody that really was a good day, but everything in between was just whole bunch of junk food, tears and pity party.

So here I am, happier, healthier, and more enthusiastic. I actually haven’t cried for the past two weeks, except for that one time, when I watched some Chihuahua seeking her attention and geting cozy with her owner! That almost gave me a heart attack, so yeah that was that one time, my eyes produced waterfall! ?

So remember, sometimes you just need to stop for a second, or for a whole 4 weeks and just get it out of your system and breathe, just breathe! Get the things you need to do on paper and set a goal for each and every one of them, and get yourself some time. Don’t forget to spend time with people that loves and inspires you! ❤

As for you Koper, it’s time to say goodbye! I’m beyond thankful to you! You gave me independency, courage, free holidays, friendships, you almost gave me a tan, ALMOST but my skin is how it is. ? So thank you Koper, thank you for all that you offered me through those 5 beautiful and adventures years.

Farewell!

❤

Photo: Sara Žigon

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